How (& why) I've designed my life around my period

I used to dread getting my period. It was painful and I felt like it was unfair that men didn't have to experience this each month.  I hated going to work during that time and social obligations annoyed the shit out of me. But I didn't know there was any other option except to "keep on truckin'.."  

If you're anything like most women in modern society, you weren't exactly initiated into woman-hood. There was no ritual or party or ceremony done when you started your period. You were probably handed a pad or tampon along with a "welcome to the real world" sigh.  

I literally thought I had pooped my pants when I got my first period- I didn't know what the blood was supposed to look like, or that there was a reason my stomach had hurt all day.  It caught me totally off guard. I honestly didn't understand the point of bleeding, like on a physical and biological level.

It wasn't until 12 years later, at age 24, that I started to understand my body more than anyone else possibly could. It started with me tracking my period. I had used apps in the past but I'm not a techy person so I read books and tracked in a calendar. After I learned about the physical changes that take place in my body, I felt totally comfortable with my period. 

And a lot of my period pain went away!


From observing my monthly physical changes (breast tenderness, appetite changes, bloating, and dips in energy) I began to see that there were also emotional and mental changes that occurred. 

I began to notice patterns in my own psyche, the way I viewed myself, and in my interactions with others. 

I learned that it was NO coincidence that my relationships were way harder towards the end of my cycle, right before starting my period. It was also harder for me to get any work done. My body really needed a lot of rest.  So over time, I learned how to schedule things around my cycle.  Saving most of my social and work obligations to the beginning of my cycle, and scheduling my massage or therapy appointments for the end of my cycle, when I needed the most support and self-care.  

My life completely took a different turn when I began honoring my cycle. It became a way for me to set boundaries (sorry, I can't do dinner that night- I'll be starting my period & will want to rest) and a way for me to honor how I felt (telling my partner to be sensitive with me during my pre-menstrual phase).  

My productivity levels would shoot through the roof because I learned how to work at APPROPRIATE times for myself.  And my rest would really, really nurture me because I would make time for it and plan ahead to my PMS phase.  

My nutrition and eating habits drastically improved when I began to learn how to eat according to my hormones and my cycle phase.  

So, why am I telling you this?

To put it quite simply: life is hard. We all experience the same highs and lows, no matter how much money we have, how much we love our career, or how amazing our partner is.  

"Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.

Life isn't just our experiences, but how we react to them.  There will never be a day where we don't get triggered by someone. A day will never pass where we don't feel a glimmer of sadness at the irony of simply existing. 

But there is a way that we can return to the home inside of ourselves.

By honoring who we are and accepting our ups and downs.  By realizing that our inner Moon cycle does indeed dictate many of our emotions. With this realization that, on a primal level, we are creatures of the Earth and daughters of the Moon, we can truly accept every part of who we are. 

My online course, a container for you to do this learning about yourself, is now open for enrollment! Balanced Babes is a 4 part online course where you'll learn about the 4 different phases of your monthly cycle! Click below to learn more and enroll today.

5 Books that changed my life

I don't talk about it a lot but I love to read.  So much so that when I was 8 years old, I read so much that my eyes weakened and I've worn glasses ever since. ( Actually, I have no idea why I became near-sighted...)

So, books have always been a HUGE part of my life. 

I almost went to school for a degree in Library Science! Of the hundreds of books that I've read, there are a handful that literally changed my life.

You know when pick up a book and don't want to put it down? And then you end up re-reading it every year or so? Well, I wanted to share my special book list with you! 

These are listed in the order that I read them :)

1. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

I read this one when I was a freshman in college (or maybe my senior year of high school?). It was the first "spiritual" kind of book that really spoke to me.  I loved how he spoke about mindfulness and sitting with ourselves.  This is one that I've read again and it's amazing how it's always relevant to my life.  I recommend reading this one when you're going through rough time.  

"Much more than simple principles and platitudes, the book takes readers on an inspiring spiritual journey to find their true and deepest self and reach the ultimate in personal growth and spirituality: the discovery of truth and light."


2. The 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

This book came to me at the perfect time. The first time I read it I was in my early twenties and had just finished my yoga teacher training. I LOVE how simple it is! It's a super easy read but the lessons in the book just seem to stick to the mind and body and heart.  This is a simple book for simple living and is great for anyone wanting to communicate more honestly with other.  I recommend reading this book when you're in transition and growth.

"Based on ancient Toltec wisdom, The Four Agreements offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives to a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love."

3. Eastern Body, Western Mind by Anodea Judith

My personal life, my yoga teaching, and my work with women is heavily influenced by this book. It's a book for everyone but is especially good for wellness practitioners.  Anodea Judith weaves together psychology,  somatic therapy, metaphysics and so much more. This book is truly a gem for anyone wanting to learn about the chakras and your own experience. Highly recommend for wellness coaches or yoga instructors! 

"Arranged schematically, the book uses the inherent structure of the chakra system as a map upon which to chart our Western understanding of individual development. Each chapter focuses on a single chakra, starting with a description of its characteristics, then exploring its particular childhood developmental patterns, traumas and abuses, and how to heal and maintain balance. "

4. Balance Your Hormones, Balance Your Life by Claudia Welch

This book is what really fueled my passion for women's health and wellness. Reading this book really helped me learn how to balance my hormones, mainly through the foods I was eating. This is great for anyone wanting an introduction to ayurveda, your endocrine system, and how to enhance your health.  I recommend this for older women as well; she really speaks a lot to aging and how to gracefully do it.  

"In clear, accessible language, internationally renowned doctor Claudia Welch explains hormones from A to Z, specifically how they relate to each other, how and why they become imbalanced, and how women can restore that balance."

5. Women Who Run With The Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Ohhhh... this book.  Wow; I could probably write an entire blog series about this book.  If you're a woman, you should read this.  CP Estes uses folklore to explore women's lives.  I can relate to pretty much every single thing that she mentions in this book. It's a really big book but super easy to read because she breaks it down into the tale, then the explanation.  It's GREAT for a bookclub or to read with a friend. I cannot recommend this enough! 

"Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés unfolds rich intercultural myths, fairy tales, folk tales, and stories, many from her own traditions, in order to help women reconnect with the fierce, healthy, visionary attributes of this instinctual nature. Through the stories and commentaries in this remarkable book, we retrieve, examine, love, and understand the Wild Woman, and hold her against our deep psyches as one who is both magic and medicine."

What are your favorite books? Comment below! 

For more books regarding women's health, join the Balanced Babes online training! I share knowledge from some of the top leaders in women's wellness.

Fire Cider: My Fav Immune Boosting Tonic!

I love winter.  

Okay, well I love parts of it. I love the snow (which we don't get in Austin and I miss it!) and I love the silence of ice storms and the crunch of cold leaves.  I love pink noses and warm drinks.  

But my body doesn't love winter.

Each year, since 2013 I have gotten a flu or cold or bronchitis. It's really becoming quite annoying.  It typically happens either when fall comes or when winter hits head on.  If you know anything about me though, you know that I have a thing against taking traditional medicine. I haven't been to a physician in 3 years and the only medicine I've taken since then is the occasional ibuprofen.

I also love to make my own herbal teas, tinctures, and tonics.  So when I discovered Fire Cider a couple of years ago- I knew I wanted to make my own! 

Fire Cider is basically your grandmothers KA-POW, knock down the cold, immune booster. It's a tonic made from basic kitchen staples; garlic, onion, ginger, horseradish, peppers, and the mother..... apple cider vinegar. 

It boosts your immune system and gives viruses a kick in the butt.

Now that I've made several batches over the years, I wanted to share with you what works for me! I will say though that not pictured** are chili pequins; these tiny spicy buggers are native to Austin and my sister, Marlena, first introduced them to me when she started adding them to her fire cider. You always want a spicy element in your cider and I love using as many local foods as possible! We pick ours straight off of the land that she lives on.

Another note** don't let the word "cider" confuse you. This shit is spicy and not sweet at all and tastes like a really strong spoonful of soup.  

Okay, on the to process....


I start with the freshest and most organic/ local ingredients as possible. The more of these you can get from your farmer's market- the better! 


chili peppers, jalapeño, or chili pequins!
horseradish root
turmeric root (this is my own secret ingredient!)
apple cider vinegar
raw honey (for later)
fresh herbs like rosemary, thyme, oregano

How to make it

I typically make one batch per season, enough that can fit into a pint-sized wide-mouthed Mason jar.  

1. To start, I peel the garlic, onion, turmeric horseradish and ginger. I use 1 whole head of garlic (that's anywhere from 10-15 cloves) and a fistful of ginger (makes 1/2 cup grated) and the same amount of horseradish root.  For the turmeric, I usually just do a piece about the size of my thumb.

2. I throw all of that in the jar along with the peppers that I chose. Then, add enough vinegar to cover that and almost reach the top.  

3. Before you screw the lid on, put a piece of parchment or wax paper underneath; otherwise the vinegar will corrode the lid! 

4. Screw that baby tight and let it sit in a cool dark place for a month! Shake it up at least every day!

Then wait...

5. When it's ready, strain out the liquid and mix with at least 1/4 cup of raw honey or more if you need it so it goes down smoothly. Write the date on the top, put it in the fridge, and treat yourself to a spoonful every day on an empty stomach.

Let me know if you try it and how it turns out!

Here's my latest batch... ready to strain...


Have you ever tried Fire Cider? Comment below! 


Ethical Fashion... why I buy used clothing

Money is an exchange of energy.

It is the most grounding currency we use and it’s the major player in the game of our existence. It feeds us and …clothes us.  So, if we’ve gotta spend it; why not do it in a spiritual or ethical way?

I love clothes and I love fashion and making it my own- as an art form.  But I refuse to play the game of fast fashion where clothes cost next to nothing because someone risked their life to make it for me.  No thank you- that does NOT feel good to me.  

So, I buy everything used/second-hand OR from ethical companies that I feel good supporting! There are few reasons I do this, and have been doing it for the past 15 years (basically since I was in junior high).

Reason #1: I love the Mother.

Earth- she keeps me grounded and provides for me.  So I serve her when I can. Even when I’m buying things for myself.  If I can keep an item from going in the trash, and it looks good on me- why not? “Reduce, Reuse, Recycle”…

Reason #2:  I REFUSE to support greedy people and greedy corporations

For a company to be able to sell clothing at extremely low prices ($10 shirts, $30 jeans, etc), it has to rely on extremely inexpensive labor.  Labor = people.  It’s a hard pill to swallow but when your clothing tag says “made in Cambodia” or China or Vietnam, or Thailand or any other developing country, you can pretty much guarantee it was made by a person working in very poor conditions.  So what makes you buy it?  Because it’s cheap.  Because we want to fill a void by filling our closets.  At the cost of someone else’s life.  No thank you. Gap, Adidas, Forever 21, H&M…etc.- it’s not worth it to me. Why would I want my energy (my money) to support a company who’s CEO makes $8 MILLION dollars a year so that someone can slave over an $8 t-shirt?

Reason #3: I save tons of money

I probably don't even need to explain this one because who doesn't love to save money?! Amanda Steinberg writes that it's more important to have a nest than to have wings. This means, saving our money for things that last or that will bring us stability, rather than on trendy purchases. As a new entrepreneur, I don't have a disposable income. Every penny that I earn goes to important purchases like food, rent, and bills. I also put money away each month into my different retirement and investment accounts and very little of my money goes to pay for clothing.  BUT... like I said, I love fashion so, used clothing is a way for me to have fun and buy things I want, without breaking the bank.  I actually end up making money by buying used but more on that later....

I could go into a thousand more reasons why I buy second hand but instead, I”ll share with you my tips and tricks in case you’re interested in making the switch!

My tips & tricks for buying used clothing...

Before you go ...

Before you go on your next shopping trip, take a moment to survey your current pieces.  More than likely, you’ve got a full closet and a full dresser of clothing; some that you haven’t worn in years.  Go through and collect the items that you haven’t worn in over a year.  Put it in a bag to donate.  (If you’d like to go on a deeper dive of cleaning out your clothes, contact me here to schedule a Skype session where Ill lead you through the Kon Mari method of clearing!)

I’ve learned that in shopping at thrift stores, it’s best to have a list of places beforehand so you’re not driving all over town.  When you think about ethical purchases, shopping local is best. That money stays your town’s economy and you’ll see direct benefits. So scan the interwebs for thrift stores in your town that aren’t “big box”.  IF you’ve only got large ones like Goodwill or Salvation Army, then by all means, add those to your list.

Thrift store shopping is best done with a friend, so bring one along and also, wear comfy clothes are easy to slip on and off, for trying things on!

When you get there...

If you’ve never gone thrifting, it’s overwhelming at first.  You walk in and it’s not a shiny, perfume-y department store where clerks ask you if you need help. But this is the charm! Just like with food; when you cook it yourself, it tastes so much better. You’ll be really proud of any awesome pieces you find!

So, when you walk in, divide and conquer.  You’ll have to dig; since each piece is one of a kind (not 10 of the same thing *that's fast fashion* ) you have to go through each and every rack to see what’s in the store. If something is a maybe, try it on- you never know what you’ll find!

Thrifting is different because you may go to a few places only get one thing- or nothing! But have patience.  (Tip* wash your items before wearing them).

But there's one thing I love more than thrift stores....

Thrift stores are fun but YARD SALES are my jam! This is my favorite solo weekend activity.

Here's how I do it:
#1- I wake up early on Saturday and/or Sunday, and visit my city’s local Craigslist site for garage sales.
#2- I look on the “map view” for the ones nearest me and if I make sure each ad lists “clothing”- otherwise I don’t go. 
#3- I write down the sales in order of closest and farthest away. I number them so I'll know when to put each in my GPS.  Then, I make myself a cozy drink, grab breakfast and set off!

I LOVE yard-saling because you meet the neatest people! Everyone yard-sales. Poor, rich, young, old- it’s so neat to see who comes together! I've had some really interesting conversations with complete strangers.  If you're not the chatty type- don't worry about it. You can always wear headphones and listen to music. 

I know some might feel shy about the idea of going to someone’s house and looking through their stuff but it’s actually okay! You are giving them money for something that, otherwise, they would have to haul off to the thrift store. 

Yard Sale Tip #1:

At yard sales, I never ask the price of an item. I bundle up everything that I want and then give them an offer. For example, if I find a few dresses and a sweater, along with some jeans and maybe a purse, Ill say, “I have $12 cash- would you take that?” and 99% of the time, they say yes. Because it takes the pressure off of them- they don’t have to figure out a price or add it all up!

Yard Sale Tip #2:

Another reason I go to yard sales is to buy vintage clothing and t-shirts that I then re-sale to my local Buffalo Exchange consignment store. Then I get store credit to buy whatever clothing I want! I do this mainly because I am very small and I can’t often find my size at yard sales. But also, because having store credit allows me to buy whatever I want!  Last month, I went to a yard sale and bought 5 vintage t-shirts for $2 total and sold them for $50 store credit. Can’t beat it! Even though I don’t find a Trisha Yearwood concert shirt ironic and cool, someone else did!

So now what? 


This week, go through your closet and clear out some things you don't like or don't wear anymore.  Then, visit a thrift store or a yard sale, and let me know it goes! 

Remember, if this is totally new to you, shoot me and email and let’s chat about it.  Together, we can work on clearing out the old, to make room for the new!

Comment below and tell us what you found! Or do you already shop second-hand? What do you like about it? 

Self-Care Down There: audio-blog episode #1

Self-care for our bodies can heal us from the inside out.  I thought I’d share a few simple tips for how to take care of your sensitive lady parts/ vulva. Take a listen and then if you'd like more resources, check out what's below!

Cleaning products

The skin that makes up the vulva is ultra-sensitive.  In fact, your body’s skin is just like an organ, so a good rule of thumb for using anything is that if you wouldn’t eat it, don’t put it on your skin. This applies to cleaning products as well.  If you’re currently using a cleaning product specifically for your vagina, take a look at the ingredient list. If there’s a word you don’t know, throw it out. Instead, use Dr. Bronner’s or another organic soap. NOTE*** If you do use a soap, like Dr. Bronner's, for your vulva, DILUTE it, a lot. I use a ratio of one drop of soap to one cup of water.  

Period hygiene

Remember to use organic, non-bleached, cotton tampons or pads.  Another option is menstrual cups and menstrual sponges.  

I mentioned what I wear, Thinx period panties. You can find them here. Another option are reusable cloth pads. I like gladrags. You can find them here. 

* correction: ACTUALLY THEY SAY YOU LOSE BETWEEN 2-6 TABLESPOONS of blood on your heaviest days!

Personal lubricants

Remember* don't use coconut oil as a lubricant because it can break down the material of the condom. Click here to explore organic lubricants by Living Libations. Top of the line and amazing!

Vaginal Steaming

Click here to read my post all about steaming! It includes a list of my favorite herbs for steaming. for organic dried herbs to create your own steam blend.


Some all natural panties= blue canoe, wear pact, and remember to try cotton yoga pants!


Pelvic floor

Read Dr. Christiane Northrup's article on the psoas. This is linked to your pelvic floor.

tight psoas leads to a tight pelvic floor; an overstretched psoas can be linked to a weak pelvic floor. 

Want more tips for self-care, down there? Join our online course, Balanced Babes to learn all things feminine including monthly rituals for connecting to your womb.  Click here to learn more about this amazing journey.


Hormone Disruptors Are Hiding In Your Home...

And here's what you can replace them with:

Your endocrine system is made up of all of your hormone-producing glands.  It’s a big deal in your body as it determines your growth, sex drive, reproduction, aging and sooooo much more. It’s basically your body’s system of checks and balances. When a part of that system is out wack, your body tells you through dis-ease or pain. The endocrine system is especially important regarding women’s health since our hormones are the main decider of how we feel on a physical and emotional level, every single day.  

In the last 2 decades though, our endocrine system has been disrupted due to the rise of modern “conveniences”. Endocrine disruptors are anything (mainly chemicals) that throw that system out of balance, mainly by mimicking our natural hormones or by stopping their production all together. This manifests in women's body mainly in menstrual disorders including PCOS, endometriosis, irregular periods, early menopause, infertility and more. 

Common endocrine disruptors include pharmaceuticals, pesticides, plastics, metal food cans, and cosmetics.  

Endocrine disruptors are everywhere and we often can’t control when we come into contact with them. But there’s one place that we have almost 100% control; our home.  Here are a few common household items that are common disruptors of your endocrine system and entire hormonal system and some ways you can replace them!

Your Kitchen:

This is the first on the list because it’s the biggest impact on your health.  Take a look at what you’re heating your food up in; your cookware.  Is it plastic, or non-stick? Start with your utensils.  Are there plastics on your eating utensils; how about that spatula or slotted spoon? Most stores that carry our kitchenware are “big box” stores- they want to make things for ½ a penny and make a profit by turning them around quickly.  So, more often than not, your cooking utensils are made with plastic; they’re cheap to purchase and you just throw them away when they wear out.  If yours are plastic, consider switching to stainless steel or even wood. If you’re on a budget, you can get these at a thrift store for cheap, or yard sales for next to nothing!

What do you store your food in? If your tupperware is plastic, consider making the switch to glass. These will often come with a plastic lid but it’s okay for food storage since the lid doesn’t usually touch the food.  


Your Bathroom:

This is a big area that’s prey to filling up with endocrine disruptors.  Many bathroom storage items are plastic (think bins, makeup bags, toothbrush holder, soap dispenser). Notice just how much plastic your hands touch each day.  Think about your shower; what are you scrubbing yourself with? You could switch from the plastic-y shower scrub to a natural loofa or a cotton washrag.  Notice your shampoo bottles.  I love the stainless steel shampoo dispenser from Hairstory. There are also great options on Amazon; even if your products come in a plastic bottle, that doesn't mean they have to stay in a plastic bottle. 

Speaking of bathroom; let’s talk about body and bath products. Make-up. This is a HUGE endocrine disruptor for women.  Your skin is your body’s biggest organ- if you wouldn’t eat it, you literally shouldn’t put it on your skin.  This goes for EVERYTHING. Take a look at your makeup bag.  Dump everything out and start with your makeup brushes.  Are the bristles plastic? Are the handles plastic? You can easily switch to wood and natural-bristle makeup brushes.  

Now, how about what you’re putting on your skin? This is a catch 22 for many women. They wear makeup to cover skin blemishes or uneven skin, when in reality, it’s what they’re putting on their skin that’s causing hormonal shifts that result in skin issues. Even what we wash our face with can be a detriment to our skin. Your skin, specifically your face, has natural oil spots and natural dry spots. Skin LOVES oil. When our skin doesn’t get to produce its natural oil, it over compensates, thus producing acne and blemishes.  Have you ever used a face-wash that has those micro-scrubbing beads? Those are plastic; you're literally scrubbing plastic into your face.  Not only that, but you wash that down the sink, it goes into the ocean, never breaks down, and is constantly being found in the stomach of deceased sea animals. Something to think about...

I invite you to go a week or two with washing your face with a product (a clay-based face wash) only every other day.  Skip the foundation and anything that goes on your skin (mascara and eye-liner are fine).  You’ll notice your skin will be softer and more supple as you go longer without letting those man-made ingredients soak into it.  You’ll also save a lot of money not buying makeup products!

Other places in your home:

Take a look at your living room and bedroom and find things that aren’t natural- what’s man-made? Here’s a list of common items that have tags so you can see what you’re touching every day:

Furniture (couch, coffee table, chairs, pillows, etc)

I could go and on but I’m sure you get my point; be intentional about what you are touching every day.  Imagine the span of your lifetime and how much plastic gets into your body on a daily basis.  It’s no coincidence that in our lifetime we’ve seen certain plastic items get BANNED, certain types of cancers rise, and infertility rates increase.  Your endocrine system determines how you feel on a daily basis so it’s no joke to asses what affects it, that you can directly change.

The quality of what we put on our around our bodies is a huge passion of my work and of Lunar Nourishment. In fact, it's a really big part of the Balanced Babes online training course.  In this 4 week long course, you'll discover not only how to reconnect to your body through your menstrual cycle, you'll learn all about endocrine disruptors and how they affect how you feel. Want to know more about the course? Click here! 


Life is a Ceremony

Without going into too many details right now, I have spent the last week understanding and fully feeling what it means to be alive.  I have taken part in a ceremony that opened the floodgates of my heart and showed me a truth that I feel I've been searching for, my entire life.

My sister, Marlena, writes songs that speak so much to the essence of what life is: 

"Each moment you wake up, the choice is yours to hold. Will you lay down in fear, or stand up and be bold? We have a choice to rise up and be a vessel for love. Sometimes there's boulders in our path; forcing us to slow down. Here we must face our pain, there's no easy way around. We have a choice to rise up and be a vessel for love. Can you see yourself as capable and divine? Treat yourself with reverence; and honor your life. We have a choice to rise up and be a vessel for love." 

It's true. When we go through our days, we can either fall down and let life run over us; being a victim to circumstance. Or we can stand tall and be the warriors; sending others our love as we trudge through our pain.

 Just as there are bad days and good days, each MINUTE of our lives is a constant current of energy. That's what we are; energetic beings taking part in this world in physical bodies.  Why do we do what we do? Is it all just a distraction from pain that needs to be pulled up and healed? Sometimes we distract ourselves by numbing our pain; sometimes we distract ourselves with drama as we become obsessed with the stories of our lives.

But sometimes, we get glimpses of our pain; we experience death or heartbreak or anger until we can't handle the intensity.

And we fall apart.

And in that falling apart, we are broken open. We let our tears or an injury or our rage take that pain and pull it out of us. 

And we begin to come back together again.

Without the breaking open; the falling apart; the darkness, we cannot feel the love- the joy. They are one in the same.  There is no person that experiences the deepest love, that hasn't felt the deepest pain.  So, as Marlena sings:

"Life is just a ceremony. Full of ups and downs. We can learn to ride the waves and we will never drown."

What waves are you riding? Do you feel like the current of life is always trying to pull you under? Do you feel confident in your energetic body? Do you love your physical body? Are you spending your entire life, waiting for someone or something to save you?

We have the strength to heal ourselves.  It's only a matter of time until we decide to do the work. Are you ready to be a warrior and embrace your pain to get to the love? 

photography by Richard Casteel




May Manifestos

This month was INTENSE. I had a suspicion of this after reading the Power Path forecast but I don't think I expected the intense changes that happened. Many of you know how I post little microblogs on my Instagram and so I thought I'd compile a few things that I realized since the last New Moon.

I'm done listening to my mind, more than I listen to my body. 

I'm done ignoring what I want because I'm afraid of how it will look to others. I'm done trying to decipher between my heart and my intuition. I'm tired of thinking. I'm tired of justifying. I'm tired of being in control. I'm tired of THINKING I'm in control. I am ready to dive into what FEELS GOOD. I am ready to fly towards what my heart tells me to. I'm ready to swim in waters that support me, rather than trying to be alone to support myself. I love myself. I respect myself. So now it's time to treat myself. To nourish myself. To BE myself. ⠀

I am truly understanding the difference between Soul and Spirit.

For me, Spirit is pure perfection. It is meta and union with a higher power. It's perhaps unattainable or something I always am attracted to. ⠀
But my SOUL has been on fire since I stepped foot into this humid, loud, interesting town. ⠀
I'm realizing that my Soul needs tending to. She needs to be nourished with what makes her feel alive. ⠀
Quite honestly, I'm tired of Spirit. I'm feeling as if my quest to reach or preach or experience Spirit has white-washed my Soul. ⠀
My Soul wants heart and truth. I TRUST in Spirit but I still need to feed my soul. The more I let my Soul guide me, the better I feel. ⠀
Over the last year, I have extensively explored my mind "versus" my heart "versus" my body/gut/intuition. And what I've learned is that for me, my heart and body want to be linked. They want to move in succession, flowing with each other. ⠀
I believe my heart to be my Masculine- heated; external; Solar. I believe my body/intuition to be the Feminine- cooling; calm, internal. ⠀
Being here with the Heat of the sun and the cooling ocean waters has nourished the duality that I am. ⠀
It has allowed me to get out of my head and realize that I've never done anything wrong. ⠀
I am perfect, just the way I am. ⠀
My mistakes are not that- they are beautiful experiences. ⠀
When I close my eyes, breathe deeply, and FEEL into what I want- it is what feeds my soul. ⠀
And that, for me, is love. Pure, unconditional love.

I remember it well.

I remember when I no longer required, craved, needed validation from my parents. I remember feeling free when they picked me up from the airport and I saw them with more compassion and less admiration. I remember when I stopped beating myself up and began loving myself. When I no longer said negative things after each decision I made. I remember when I started feeding my Soul and trusting in my Spirit. My days go by in peace as I trust in myself. I love myself. I live for myself. I believe in Magic and I'm not scared to say it. I know what I like and it's taken me 27 years to realize that this is ME. I love driving. I love nature. I love teaching yoga. Reading books is fun and eating Cheetos makes me happy. I think deeply about most everything and I hate small talk. Like- REALLY despise it. I used to want to travel the world but now I feel best when I'm at home. The sun and the ground are medicine for me. I feel at peace with all that I am.

I saw myself as an infant.

I took a journey the other night and saw myself as an infant. I saw light pink colors and soft textures. I saw cream lace and a tiny bonnet. I saw a baby who needs nurturing. And I was her and I was her mother- at the same time. So why am I afraid to care for her? Why am I scared to step into that role? I am quick to serve others- just the other day I had decided to eat toast for dinner, then my parents called to stop by and I literally roasted a whole chicken and made a salad to feed them when they arrived. Did I not think that I deserved that comforting meal? Do I punish myself for unnecessary guilt by not giving myself what I need or want? How can I truly serve others if I give myself the bare minimum? I cannot take ANYONE'S advice anymore. I have to, must, give myself what I need- no matter how it looks to others. And right now, my SOUL needs to be fed. She's starving.

Life will always present us with a lesson.

I'm finding myself seeing the bigger picture. I am less quick to feel rage, disappointment, or annoyance. I understand that, for me, I tend to see the negative first- even if only for a second. But life happens in stages; every aspect of our lives can't all be perfect at once. We have chances to grow in each area- at different times. 

For the past 6 months I have found wisdom in being alone- in not giving my heart to anyone but myself. I feel like that time prepared me for a trip over the ocean that sent waves of realizations up my spine. 

As soon as I realized I was afraid to be alone- I felt okay being alone. I finally let go of a love I thought I couldn't handle. And as soon as I realized I could survive without that love, from someone else, I found myself seeing that I did indeed deserve it and could handle it. 

Now I am finding wisdom in seeing myself from the eyes of a partner, and from the eyes of a child. I am finding wisdom in understanding that sometimes things just...are. Sometimes you see other people suffer and have to look away- because you know you can't help them. You remember how you used to suffer and the only thing that brought you to the light was yourself.

Success isn't defined by how much money I make.

It's not defined by how "big" my business is or how many social media followers I have. Success, to me, doesn't mean working long hours or having a thousand clients.

Success is when I have freedom to do what I love. It's when I get to see REAL changes in the women who are a part of the Lunar Nourishment tribe. I feel successful knowing that I haven't sacrificed ANY of my beliefs & values for my business. Success is knowing that every client or customer who supports my business is literally helping me put food on my table.

I feel successful in the fact that my tribe is steadily growing & I am able to keep up with that growth. I am still able to personally answer all emails and messages.
I remember the faces (maybe not the names!) of every woman who has been a part of Lunar Nourishment for the past year and half.

I don't measure success in terms of how much money I make each month or how many women sign up for my offerings. Success is that I get to do what I LOVE, every single day and I get to be AUTHENTIC and true to myself.

photo by Andrea McArdle

photo by Andrea McArdle



Self-Parenting: for the baby in all of us!

Self-Parenting; this topic has been coming up for me extensively in the last few years but seems to be on my horizon when I need it the most.  And apparently, right now, I need to really get back to treating myself like a baby.  In a good way…

We are all children; innocent and malleable, but strong and stubborn.  Can you close your eyes and see how you feel, deep down? Does the infant inside of you feel safe and secure and nurtured? Or is she tired or frightened or lonely?

Photo by Victoria Lucia

Photo by Victoria Lucia

Reality check: no one can be there for us, like we can be there for ourselves.  I’ve learned this the hard way throughout my life as I’ve TRIED to rely on boyfriends and my family to supply needs that are nestled so deep within me, they can’t possibly be met by anyone other than me.  When I first learned about the concept of self-parenting, it was in the form of mothering.  It was 2014 and I was in the midst of a 9 month period of choosing not to be in contact with my mother.  It wasn’t a decision with forethought but rather the culmination of a life-time of little to no boundaries and a lack of awareness around why my mother triggered negative emotions in me.  As I discovered during this period of separation with her, even our own mothers didn’t parent us in every single way that we needed- from infancy to adulthood.  They just did the best that they could at that time. Once we “grow up”, it’s time for us to do the best WE CAN, for ourselves.  

There comes a point in life when it is time for us to take the reigns and lead ourselves to freedom and pure self-love.  I chose to take the reigns that summer, in 2014.  I learned how to treat myself like I was a baby- making sure that my basic needs were met, and then nurturing myself. For me, I did it by asking myself (constantly) what I needed.  I literally nurtured myself with everything that I was aware that I needed. I cut off friendships, jobs, and hobbies that I felt weren’t in my best interest as I went through a very reclusive and sensitive time.  

There is no one right way to self-parent but for me, I needed a lot of alone time and self-care rituals.  It was that year, 2014, that I began setting intentions on the New Moon and releasing negativity on the Full Moon.  I started leading New Moon gatherings for women and thus- a year later- Lunar Nourishment was born.  I truly believe that if it weren’t for my extreme form of self-parenting, I wouldn’t have had the guts or gumption to release parts of my life that were no longer serving me in order to make room for new endeavors. 

My self-parenting looked like this:

  • Constant check-in's with how I felt emotionally and physically
  • Feeding myself the best and most nutritious foods
  • Slowing down + pretty much stopping my yoga practice and most physical exertions
  • Spending a lot of time in nature and in the sun
  • Quitting my job and working for myself
  • Living alone
  • Not drinking alcohol or being very social
  • Only doing things that felt like a HELL YES 
  • Saying no to things that didn't feel good

But lately, there’s been a shift.  Self-parenting looked like those things that I listed above but now, I can feel my Soul asking me to “level up”.  I had a conversation with my sister, Marlena, about this the other day and she shared that sometimes what used to serve us, is no longer ENOUGH.  For the last few years I have needed rest and alone time and a very light workload mixed in with some time in nature and the sun.  Now, I feel a call to rest in a different way. To sit in silence when I want. To practice yoga and move my body more. To work smarter, not harder.  But most of all, to keep parenting myself.  

On this Scorpio Full Moon, I invite you to explore your inner child and your inner Mother. How you can you be both and treat yourself the best way possible.  On this Full Moon, embrace letting go of old ways of being that aren't truly nurturing for your Soul. 

Do you parent yourself? How do you give your body and your soul what it needs? What does your practice look like? Do you feel guilty about treating yourself like an infant?  Comment below and see who can learn from your story. 


Needing to heal doesn't mean you're weak.

I received a massage last week, in my home, and as the sun shone in through my windows, all I felt was guilt.  Even though I was able to soften my body, I had a thought, “I am a spoiled woman receiving a massage at 10am on a Tuesday. Why do I deserve this?”  After a few minutes, I let myself sink into it and I remembered that I deserve everything. I deserve self-love and self-care.  I am not selfish for wanting the best for ME.  When do you find yourself feeling guilty, even though it's unwarranted?

As I learn how to be a better receiver, I am learning how to be a better giver.  My livelihood is dependent on the services I provide to others and the space that I hold for them.  If I don’t care for myself, I can’t truly give to others.  For the last few years, I have found myself giving everything that I’ve got until all I am is a watered down version of who I truly am or want to be. 

At our New Moon Circle last month, a very wise woman said that she realized she is no longer responsible for others’ feelings.  She no longer wants to carry their burden, their heartache, their sadness.  Why do we so often feel drawn to the pain of others, while we ignore our own pain? I believe so much of it is inherited. Somewhere along the way, we lost our capacity to (know that we can) heal ourselves.  We lost our ability to feel the energy in our body and to realize when it’s off balance. We began listening to others more than we listen to ourselves. 

My own mother says that “in her day”, you only complained about pain if you were close to passing out from it and that her generation has an engrained sense of the word HEALING meaning WEAKNESS.  But just because you have something to heal from, doesn’t mean you’re weak.  In fact, it’s just the opposite. The brave ones, the strong ones, the courageous ones have the ability to look and feel within themselves to become aware of an imbalance.  The Chinese philosophy of Yin and Yang speaks to the fact that humans were born from the chaos at the center of the planet.  That without chaos, harmony does not exist.  

It’s true; think back to a time in your life when everything was going perfectly.  When you were flowing through life and each day was amazing. Those times, while great, don’t offer us growth.  Evolution, change, transformation and growth come from CHAOS. They come from the messy.  It’s when we’re in a fetal position crying on our bedroom floor that we are growing.  It’s when we want to crawl out of our skin that we are evolving. It’s when we leave work early and drive out of the city to cry in a field that we are becoming wiser.  

I invite you this month to EMBRACE THE MESSY. To not be a chameleon (click that link to read an AWESOME post about this topic!) and mold ourselves to what others want. I invite you to "level up" your life by not feeling guilty about what you deserve.  Guilt is pointless; Eckhart Tolle explains that there is no need to feel guilty about anything in our past that we've done because we are now operating at a higher level of consciousness.  Past "mistakes" aren't mistakes- they are actions that you took at the highest level of consciousness you could, at the time.  So let's move past our guilt and star to live in the NOW.  

be true to you; receive what comes your way with grace and gratitude.  give only from the heart, not from obligation. 

I invite you to stop settling, and start living from your place of truth.