Work Smarter- Not Harder

Hey you, I’m here with some tips on how you can actually make the money you want to make by working LESS.

That’s right. The less work you do, the more money you can make.

How?

You’ve probably heard me talk about the law of attraction, of setting intentions, of manifesting etc etc.  

 Photo by  Andrew Bennett

But what if, no matter *what* you wanted to manifest, you still felt like you’re spreading yourself thin, you still second-guessed the things you set intentions towards, and you still don’t feel GOOD on a regular basis?

That sucks.

First off, it doesn’t matter HOW good you are at manifesting and vision-boarding and crystal-dreaming; if you still aren’t feeling in alignment with SOMETHING, then you’re doing it wrong.

Just because you’re good at something, doesn’t mean you should do it.

Just because Universe hands you an opportunity, doesn’t mean you have to say yes.

The key to living an aligned life and feeling in the flow is only doing the things that don’t feel like work.

Another way to put it is “work smarter- not harder”.

That feels good, right??

(In 13 Moons - which you can read about here- I show you how to listen to your inner voice so you can let go of the things that are holding you back from feeling good on a very regular basis.)

Say that your dream is to support yourself by teaching yoga.  So you say yes to any classes that come your way and feel like you’ve got to be grateful, because that’s what you wished for, right?


Let me repeat: the key to living an aligned life is figuring out what you want to FEEL like.  


Here’s an example of how it works:

You know you want to help people connect to their body (yoga).

You know you want to make your own money and not work for yourself.   

So now what?


You’ve gotta figure out the thing that you’ve always been good at. The thing that others come to you for. The thing that doesn’t feel like “work” to you.

Maybe it’s giving your friends relationship advice. You’re always the go-to person and you could talk about it ALL. DAMN. DAY.

So what if you combine THAT skill with your yoga teaching?

Instead of just “My name is ___ and I teach yoga.” ...How about….

Connected Practice: an 8 week yoga program for couples to deepen your relationship and increase intimacy.  

You might be thinking, “where would I find someone who wants to pay me for that?”

I hear you and I get why you think that but…


When you are totally in alignment with what you are good at and what others want from you, it’s like flies and honey (that’s a saying right..?).


They will come.

Because you’re telling Universe that you are EMBRACING the gifts you’ve been given. You are ready to serve others. And you’re ready to do it in a way that lights you up; in a way that’s sustainable and not draining to you.  


So, are you living in alignment with your inner voice? Or are you draining yourself, not expressing your gifts to the world, and not serving others in the way you’re meant to serve?

If you get what I’m saying, you are light years ahead of some people who will continue to drain their energy.  

Here’s what one of my clients, Kala, had to say about why she’s joining 13 Moons as a Moon Maiden:

"I'd recommend working with Lydia because she has this magical ability to connect with you, even through a screen. She can bring that out and really use it as a tool in helping you with whatever sort of direction you need help with and for me, that's huge.
It's helped me to identify other areas of my life and I should probably let go and move on from - things that my ego wants me to be part of but that don't actually serve me in any way (things that actually drain me). Powerful stuff, indeed! I feel like a sponge, just soaking up all this great stuff.”

So what’s your next step? Joining us for a year-long lunar immersion to find your inner voice so you can work smarter, not harder.

Want to get there?

13 Moons is sold out for now, but you can work with me one-on-one! Click here to learn about private sessions!

(hint: if you wanna feel better on the daily, it’s for you.)


 

My first vlog (because it's too exciting to type!)

I had NO intention of doing this video but my excitement got the best of me so I found a closet under the stairs, at my co-working space, stuck a plant behind me and filmed this! So please excuse the terrible sound quality with my teeny tiny headphones! 

Transcript is below the video!

Also, in lieu of a New Moon blog, I'm doing a [free] New Moon Ceremony! Tomorrow night at 8pm cst. All you have to do is just join our LN Sisterhood group on FB and I'll be posting the link in our "event" listed in the group! Log into FB, then click here to join. 

Video Transcript:

Hi! This is Lydia from Lunar Nourishment, obviously, and I just want to tell y’all what’s going on right now; some things that I’m really really excited about. The biggest thing is 13 Moons (I know you’ve read a couple of my emails already) and 13 Moons is starting now. We have a group of Witches, this is level 2, and we’re going to be starting a really deep journey together.

So many of y’all wanted to join and I didn’t have enough room (for the Witches) but you can join this program as a Maiden! And what this is, you will be joining me, like this, every single month for an entire year. And they are my New Moon Ceremonies, and this how LN started. I was starting in 2014 in my living room floor in Austin, Texas bringing women together on the New Moon and it has evolved into this yearlong ceremony.

What it is- when you join 13 Moons as a Maiden- you will take part in a ritual with me every single month on the New Moon, to set intentions for your life. And if you know at all or even if you don’t you’ll know now that my work is super intuitive. So every single month we have a theme that goes along with that New Moon but the theme is going to be fluid and changing according to the women that show up. I cannot tell y’all how excited I am about this.  It is the culmination of all of my work for these 4 years, put together in this really special capsule for you.

So when you enroll, you’ll get a welcome email that asks you to log into this password protected portal where all your meditations will live.  And this program, we’ve already got an amazing group of Maidens that have joined us- there’s still room for plenty more. And women are joining us for so many different reasons.  Some because they want to get a better idea of what their career should be; others because they have health issues specifically with their reproductive system. Other women are joining just for “spiritual upkeep” ; a time and place every single month for you to be alone for yourself but also with a sisterhood and a community.

Interested in learning more? Click below!

 

Feel like you're supposed to do something bigger with your life?

Starting a business was one of the hardest but most rewarding things I’ve ever done. I started it with an email list of 15 women and a website that I built for $300.

It’s been 3 and a half years of lots of trial and error, googling, wondering what the hell I was doing, and so much growth.  It’s been the best thing I’ve ever done.  I remember the moment I knew I wasn’t going to work at my desk job forever.  It was one of those days where I felt like I wanted to crawl out of my skin and everyone was bothering me and I just didn’t see the point of it all.

I was sitting in a parking garage wasting time between meetings- and I took my hair down, took off my bra, and cried in my car for 30 minutes.  That was when I knew. I was tired of playing small. I was tired of making someone else money. But where I am now, fully supporting myself with Lunar Nourishment, didn’t happen overnight. In fact, there were tons of things that I wish so badly someone had told me. It would have saved me time, money, and lots of anxiety and almost panic-attacks.

I sometimes feel like I wasted the first couple of years of my business going around in circles and feeling like I needed to get every certification under the sun just to be able to help people.

But that’s not what this is about.

I’m writing to you to tell you something that I’ve wanted to tell you for 14 months.  Something that I wanted to be 100% sure of, and committed to before I shared it with you.

And it’s this:


You are not meant to water yourself down, in this lifetime. You are powerful and big and MAGICAL and you always have been.


Maybe up until now, you’ve made sure everyone else was comfortable and cared for but in doing that, you’ve gotten further away from yourself.  From your passions, your talents, and the way you can help heal the world.

I see you- if you’re reading this email or follow me on social media or come to my events or know me in any way, I SEE YOU. I feel your energy when you tune in and I want you to know that I know how you feel.


It’s no coincidence that when we are around others who vibrate at our level (or higher) they hold us to a standard that we’ve always known we could reach.  My life has changed in more ways than I could ever imagine since I started stepping TOWARDS my power and not hiding from it.

It can feel scary; being intuitive and knowing things and having the feeling that you are meant to help people but feeling afraid to actually do it.

I’ve been there. Scared of not having money, of no one wanting my services, of “failing”. That’s why it took me a year to create my latest program. Because fears kept coming up; I had to keep working through them.  And in doing that work, I saw some things that are pretty simple that I wish we all grew up knowing.


1. You are totally meant to do something bigger with your life. And you’re ready, right now.

2. Money is infinite. It’s energy.  It comes in and it goes out.  It’s how we feel about *it* that determines how much of it comes in.

3. Your business is your life.  They always say to separate the two but I’ve learned that when powerful women are doing the work they love, it’s not work anymore. It’s Spirit coming through; it’s the flow and the passion.

4. Once you know who you are, you’ll know what your work on this Earth is. And that, my dear, is like heaven on Earth.

To know what your purpose is, feels like taking the biggest breath of your life. It feels like you can finally rest in knowing that all of the inner work you’ve done has led to something that feels RIGHT.

It’s like never wondering anymore if you’re doing the right thing or what the next “thing” should be.

It feels like coming home.

Are you ready to come home?  

Anxiety is feeling bigger than you allow yourself to be...

I woke up this morning feeling more anxious than I have in the last few weeks. I almost went through the same cycle that I usually do; canceling any immediate plans that I can, lying in bed, crying some, journaling, and then after a while deciding that I don’t want to feel that way anymore.

But today was different.  Because today, someone set a boundary with me and forced me to set a boundary with my anxiety...

So, I used to think that by structuring the way I lived my life, by doing specific self-care routines, and by having a healthy mind and body, that I could “heal” my anxiety and make it disappear.  

Then I learned that general anxiety doesn’t ever go away but there are ways to cope with it.  And so I went from feeling it in my entire soul-body to feeling it just pass over me as waves.

But there’s always been one part of my anxiety that I never could seem to learn from or push past.  It was the moments when it made me freeze.
 

That feeling like you don’t want to leave where you are even if you don’t like where you are.

That feeling that you want to have fun and do good work but all your body can do is lie down and distract yourself with a screen or a book.  

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That feeling of knowing that you seem “flaky” and don’t have as much of a social life as you’d like or don’t network as much as you would like to help your business.

That feeling of wanting to be out in the world but feeling so withdrawn and paralyzed with fear that it turns into what looks like procrastination.

That feeling of literally second-guessing every single decision you make.

This is all anxiety.


But I’m also learning that anxiety is being and feeling more expansive than you let yourself feel.

Like a hermit crab who has outgrown her shell but is afraid to leave it find another one.  It’s how I felt when I had my 9-5 desk job but was afraid to quit. It’s how I felt before I broke up with my boyfriends that I knew I wasn’t meant to be with.  It’s how I feel before I have to confront someone honestly. It’s even sometimes how I feel right before I’m about to lead a women’s workshop; I know deep down that the evening will be AMAZING but right before, I’m scared as hell.

Anxiety is the feeling BEFORE you find the new shell or quit the job or speak your truth or set the boundary or let something go.

Do you ever have anxiety?

How does it show up in your body, in your mind, in your actions?

This blog is being written right now because this morning, one of my best friends set a boundary with me- and it couldn’t have been better timing. She told me I was letting her down by flaking and in that moment I realized that I’m in catering to my anxiety, I’m letting down the people that I love.  I’m making my paralyzing fear a priority, rather than leaning in to the life that I actually want.

So that boundary that this amazing person set with me, helped me set one with myself.

Have you ever set a boundary with yourself around your anxiety? She did that for me.  It opened my eyes, it helped me get up off the bed and get dressed. And instead of dreading getting out of the house, I opened myself up to receiving her support.  I allowed myself to be honest and vulnerable. I’m proud of her for setting boundaries and I’m proud of me for being honest.

Is anxiety causing you to freeze in an area of your life right now? Sometimes it’s work, sometimes relationships, sometimes a health-thing that we know we want and need to do but just can’t.  

This is where boundaries can be used.  Imagine your anxiety is like another person.  You can speak to it- you can set the boundary.  You can write it a letter:

“Dear anxiety,
I understand where you’re coming from.  I value the lessons you bring me but I have to set a boundary. I am ready to _____ and you are keeping me from doing that.  I understand that you’ll always be in my life but right now, I need to take some space from you because this isn’t cool to me anymore and it’s not serving me.”

You can meditate on it.  Do what you need to do but as this Full Moon approaches (on Saturday!) I invite you to set a boundary with yourself, find what’s holding you back, and see how you can move forward.

Interested in diving even deeper and finding out where you're holding yourself back? Click here to keep reading!

You are dreaming your life into being

“You are dreaming your life into being”

(lyrics by Marlena Jarjoura)  

 

I spent a lot of my life feeling like someone else was going to save me.  

The thing or person that was going to rescue me had many faces. My mother, my high school sweetheart, my college degree, my dream job, the first boyfriend I ever lived with, my business… you get the picture.  

Each time that I started to depend on one of those knights in shining armor, I was disappointed.  I expected to “find myself” in each of those things and people but instead, I found myself BECAUSE of those things.  

When I realized that my Mother wasn’t an angel, I discovered how to nurture myself.  When I realized that I’d never end up with the first boy I ever slept with- my high school sweetheart- I learned how to let things go and discovered that I’d be okay.  When I graduated college and realized that 4 years of work led to me sitting under fluorescent lights all day, I realized that I had to find my purpose and create my own livelihood, on my terms.

When I moved in with a partner and discovered that living together doesn’t magically make you like the person, I had to learn how to stare conflict in the face and set boundaries. When I started my business and realized that even with my “dream” job, I still wanted more, I had to learn to strive for contentment, rather than pure happiness.  

And now, now I see that prince charming doesn’t exist. That ALL relationships take work.  I have learned that you cannot depend on your partner to be everything for you; your best friend, a boyfriend, your therapist, your handy-man, your travel partner, your lover.  A relationship is two people existing as individuals who aren’t dependent on each other for their own happiness.

Through all of this; the relationships, the careers, the DEEP healing- I’ve learned that my relationship with SPIRIT comes first.

When I say Spirit, I mean Self. To me; they are one in the same.  I don’t pray to Jesus or worship a God or follow a religion. My God is LOVE and it exists inside of me.  I have specific things that I do to access that love, and I can feel when it’s cut off.

The biggest way that I stay connected to Self/Spirit/God is by living a life that is in alignment with the person that I am now.  As a very impatient person, my nature is to be disappointed that the life I have now isn’t the life that I want but in doing that- I am cutting off the connection.  I am not present with the life that I’m creating.

Life is creating.

If we are looking TOO far ahead, we become disappointed with what we have now.  If we look TOO far behind, we aren’t focused on the present and we stop our flow, our connection.  

My work with women is deeply rooted in the feminine- more specifically with our Mother wounds (we’ve all got them). For most of us, we weren’t initiated into our femininity and we haven’t yet learned what that means for us.  Our sensuality- this is our juiciness for living. For a lot of us, that well has run dry. We aren’t sure how to fill it back up. But with intention, ritual, and letting go, we can fill up our cups until they run over, so that we have the energy to do all the things that we were put on this Earth to do. 

I would never have been able to start my business and do all the other things in my life that I do, if  I wasn’t connected to my femininity. The feminine is the flowing, the receiving, the cold, the dark, the night, the rest, the movement, the passion, the beauty.  

This is what makes life fun!

A few days ago the doors opened for my newest program, the VIP Deep Dive.  Last month I officially launched and have since worked with some amazing women who are paving the way for a life of ease and purpose.  

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I am accepting enrollment for just 2 more women who want to work with me in a month-long program to find clarity, discover your purpose, release your blocks, and learn how to stop holding yourself back from the life you really want and the life you really deserve.

In this Deep Dive, you and I will meet for our first session via video call. Together we will discover your main goal/purpose at this point on your journey. We’ll come up with a plan of action. Then you’ll receive a weekly accountability email from me, a special ritual package mailed to your door, and a book specifically chosen for you.  After 3-4 weeks, we will meet for our final call to discover any triggers that came up for you, where you are on your path, and how we can keep you moving towards your dream life.

This is a sacred container of work and I am so fortunate to be able to choose the women who join me in this program.  If you’d like to learn more and schedule a free call with me- just click here. I’m excited to see if we’re a good fit!

Alignment is Sexy

Alignment is the new sexy.  When I first started my business, I would write a lot about alignment.  My very first business card said “Awaken Your Soul’s Path” and I FELT exactly what I was talking about but I didn’t know yet what it fully meant.

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When we aren’t in alignment- we feel off. 

If you’re reading this, you are probably an empath. You can literally feel others’ emotions in your own body.  You can tell when someone or something is “off”- or not in alignment. It's sometimes harder for us to feel when we're off, ourselves.

I’ve gone through a shit-ton of trails and tribulations (that’s a phrase, right?) in my life as I’ve focused on alignment.  For me, it’s been a pretty big single point of focus with my main goal being to transition into a life that feels really good to me- on ALL levels; not just most levels.

I’ve highlighted below some realizations that I've had in order to get to where I am (although I am definitely aware that I have a lot longer to go…).  Maybe some of my own trial and error will help guide you in a direction that feels good, too!


-Alignment happens inside of us, first.

In order for us to break a habit or make a change; we’ve got to be motivated to make that change. And there are different motivators, for each of us. This was key to me transforming my life. I'll give you an example: before I realized that I needed to quit eating sugar to get off of my anti-anxiety medication, I had to first become aware that I FELT off, inside, when I ate sugar.    For me, I couldn’t quit sugar just because I knew it was unhealthy.  My motivator for making change was that I was tired of having panic attacks.  So I realized that and felt in total alignment with that decision. It was only until I felt 100% in alignment with my decision to quit sugar, that I was able to quit it.  Once I made the decision, when sugar was in front of me, I had very little desire to eat it, because now that my inner alignment had shifted- I felt “off” when I consumed it.


-Being in alignment doesn’t have to feel really “BIG”.

Back when I worked a 9-5 desk job, I used to envy health coaches that I saw, or yoga instructors here in Austin that I loved.  I used to feel like in order for me to fulfill that dream of helping others shift their lives, I would have to totally just quit everything and do all new things.  That did happen, but it was over a long period of time.  In the beginning, in order for me to align my life with how I felt- I started VERY small.  One small step that led to huge changes was me becoming aware of the words that I spoke. I realized that I was saying things out loud that I didn’t really mean.  So day by day, I became a little more quiet, unless I had something really truthful to say.  That one change totally shifted the way that my day felt. I didn’t feel like I had to be “fake” or say things like -“my weekend was great! how was yours??” if I’d had a really crappy weekend. I felt like, for the first time, I had some breathing room.  This is because…


-When you’re in alignment, you have so much more energy

It takes a lot of our energy to contain ourselves.  Containment meaning holding ourselves to some level expected by others that doesn’t really feel good, inside.  We use a lot of energy each day just to be civilized human beings.  How many times have you felt like just screaming or throwing yourself on the ground and saying “I give up!” but you don’t? When you live a life that feels good to YOU, a lot of your energy of containing yourself, frees us.  I remember when I wanted to eat healthier and I thought it was going to be impossible and that I’d be in the kitchen 24/7.  I remember seeing women who literally were doing EVERYTHING and still had all this energy left to blog about it- I didn’t get it.  But now I do.  Now that I’m not in a battle with myself every day, I have so much extra energy.  Energy that I get to use to run my business, or help my partner and his son, or cook really tasty meals every day.


-It’s obvious when we’re out of alignment but we like to ignore it

We tend to think that things are way harder than they are.  When I wanted to regulate my menstrual cycle and take more control of my health-care, I remember feeling like I had to go to medical school just to be able to take care of myself.  I felt like there were a million steps between me and holistic health that I didn’t even know where to start.  So I ignored it for a long time. I continued to pop a pain pill when my period found me in a fetal position of cramps. I continued to use drugs and alcohol each week to numb the way I felt, and I continued to stay in relationships that just didn’t feel good. Because I thought that changing those things was going to be hella hard.  And honestly - it was pretty hard but it’s totally worth it.  For example: now that menstrual cycle is regular and I rarely have painful periods, my PMS has decreased. I used to waste 2 weeks out of every month basically in a terrible mood, with zero energy, and then with a painful period.  But now, I feel like I have my life back, and my health-care practices that I do at home, feel much more in alignment with my soul, than depending on a doctor for my care.
 

-Being in alignment is easier when you’re not alone

I hate asking for help. Like… really really hate it. I get all fumbly and embarrassed.  But the truth is- we all need help sometimes.  I wish so badly that I didn’t spend 10 (ten!!) years of my life doing this work alone.  My learning and research into women’s health, practicing on my own body, could have been half the time, if I had just reached out to other women who had been there before. I suppose this is what led me to starting Lunar Nourishment; I see so many women who are wanting so badly to live a life that feels healthy and in alignment but don’t know where to begin- so they just don’t begin.  But my message to them is that you CAN transform your life, relationships, career, health, and SOUL into the life you’ve always wanted to lead.  And I’m here to guide you towards that.
 

-Finally, alignment is an individual experience

This sounds contradictory based on my previous paragraph BUT it’s not.  Because alignment is different based on who you are! There’s no exact way to get in alignment. There’s no formula; there is only figuring out what feels good to you.  It’s almost so simple it’s confusing. I used to think that being healthy meant I could never each chocolate or binge-watch Netflix or skip a healthy meal one day.  I thought that to be healthy meant I had to meditate every day and go to yoga each week.  But being healthy just means that you feel like a WHOLE person.  Not disjointed in how you live your life.  It means that you are the same person at home alone, as you are with your partner, and at your job, and with your family.

 

Alignment is staying true to who you are; feeling into your heart before you say yes or no.  Alignment is the true meaning of self-love.  And it looks different for us all.  

If you want to dive deeper into this topic and see where your life is out of balance and how you can cultivate alignment, check out my VIP deep dive program!

Why we don't set boundaries

I rode my bike this morning; and everything frightened me.  Every dog that I rode past, in my mind, was going to attack me.  Every car that drove past me, in my mind, was going to hit me. Every tree branch that went past my tires was, in my mind, was going to flip me over the handlebars.   I’ve ridden my bike regularly for years, and this is my own neighborhood- but fear was still there. It’s always layered underneath my smile and my sweet words. But it’s a silent killer.

Have I really approached my whole life with such fear? Fear is what kept me from setting boundaries, for so long.

 photo by Richard Casteel

photo by Richard Casteel

If you don’t know how to set boundaries, your life is going to be shittier. Sounds basic- but it’s true. We aren’t taught how to set boundaries; we don’t know what words to say and we don’t always know the outcome so we avoid it.

But when we do it; set boundaries- our energy shifts.

Often, to set a boundary, you don’t even have to say anything. It’s a thought, an intention, a change that happens INSIDE.

But we think setting boundaries means confrontation. So we shy away from it. We’re scared shitless of hurting someone else or sounding mean.

However, setting boundaries is loving.  Because it’s compassion. It’s having compassion for self and for other.  Because when you set boundaries- you clear resentment. Nothing is swept under the rug anymore. It brings clarity.

Forget self-care and eating healthy and having the perfect career or the best house or knowing exactly how your life is going to look; if you don’t know how to set boundaries; you’re giving someone else control over your life.  

It happens over and over and over again.  

And each time, we say “what if” he/she changes? “What if” this time it works?  

“What if” isn’t real.

What’s real is doing what’s right; what’s best for your heart and your soul.  But often, even though we need to set a boundary, we don’t do it and so every decision or thought that comes from not setting that boundary is OUT of alignment with the deepest parts of ourselves. And that blocks the flow of energy. It shuts off the heart. It closes the mind.

And so you see people in the same situations that have been repeating themselves since they were small.

For me, it’s always in the form of a woman- this is the case for most.

When we don’t heal our Mother wound (don’t worry- we’ve all got one) our “mother” keeps showing up; in teachers, in girlfriends, in colleagues, in friends- she’ll show up time and time again until we face her.

When we stop avoiding, when we dust off the cobwebs and straighten the picture frame- we feel more alive, and more like the person we want to be.

Avoidance is the ego.  It’s us not wanting to totally break apart and GO THERE> but often, when we JUST.DO.IT, we see that it’s not really as scary as we always thought.

I have learned to set boundaries inside of myself first.  And I’ve learned that my own “mother” replay happens less and less.  My life is more full of things that feel good to me, and less full of conflicts and drama and just plain unhappiness.

What patterns keep showing up in your life?  Where does your Mother-wound keep coming up?

Click here to download my free Inner Clarity workbook to discover your patterns and learn how to finally break free from them.

Why you won't see me at a doctor's office...

Years ago I began a journey of self-healing. Most of y’all know my story about being diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (who doesn’t have anxiety…??) and wanting to get off my meds. I did that. 

And I've spent the last  10 years of discovering, researching, connecting to, and reclaiming MY BODY.

I do not ever want a doctor to know more about my body than I do.

I do not ever want to have to ask someone else why I feel the way I feel.

I do not ever want to have to put chemicals in my body to reduce symptoms of a bigger issue.

and I won’t.

To me, it’s not a big deal that I haven’t been to a doctor in many years. It’s not a big deal that I shell out over $100 for my annual exam so that I can see the midwife of my choice.  It’s not a big deal that I know every detail about my monthly cycle including the day that I can feel myself ovulating.

It’s not a big deal because it’s taken me YEARS to get here.  It didn’t happen overnight. It’s not some magical secret that all of a sudden I can read the signs of my body and take care of myself accordingly.

I get asked questions every single day that I easily answer off the top of my head-

“What herbs are best for me if I have really painful periods?” 

“What can I do to balance my hormones so that I stop having month-long periods?” 

“How can I figure out what MY body needs to eat, without being influenced by marketing and fad diets?”

These answers are all inside of me- not just in my brain but in my body because I LIVE this.  But I didn’t go to school to learn it. My college degree didn’t teach me about the four phases of my menstrual cycle and how my energy levels change and what self-care practices are best for each phase.  My high-paying communications job didn’t teach me how to mix different herbs for preventative care.

I learned this stuff on my own.  And you can too.

The biggest question that I get after I host a workshop on women’s wellness is, “How did you have time to learn all of this?”

I MADE the time. My priorities were a lot different from other 20-something’s around me.  My money didn’t go to shopping or movies or bars- it went to books and workshops and classes and high quality food and herbs.

My time wasn’t spent on Netflix series or vacations.

I didn’t feel like I had a choice. My body was warning me, through my anxiety, to learn how to take care of myself.  And so I did.

Many of our bodies don’t give us a warning until it’s often too late.  Frequently, it’s not until someone gets cancer or has a heart attack that they drastically shift their life to one of mindfulness and healing.

That’s because of the type of society we live. 

The things that we are taught to value are external, fast, productive, and most of all- distracting.

Every where we turn, we are met with something to keep us from looking within.  Because we want to deny that pain exists; we want to turn a blind eye to depression and illness- it’s easier that way.

Until we get sick.  Then we rush to the doctor or the health food store and we cram as many vitamins and supplements as we can into our bodies and crash until we get better.   

And then we forget about healing until it happens again.  And we suppress the pain or the sickness with medicine, we make the symptoms go away and it does, until it happens again and… you see where I’m going with this.

I like to think of self-healing as like taking a shower. If you went months or years without showering, you’re going to get pretty stinky and not feel so good.  So without even thinking about it, you take part in an almost daily ritual of cleansing your skin.  That’s great because our skin is the biggest organ on our body. But when we do we clean the rest of it?

I’m a HUGE non-believer in cleanses and juice fasts and diets.    There’s nothing you need to “flush” out of your system if you don’t cram it full of toxins regularly.

And health food stores? They have some of the most unhealthy food products ever- but it’s marketing. I say save your money, eat basic foods that your great grandparents would have eaten and most of all…

use common sense.

That alone will get you a lot farther than ignoring your body, hoping the doctor knows best, and continuing to push through everything.

Like the seasons, our bodies and our energy and our health waxes and wanes.  There are times when we need to rest, times to  be more active and foods to eat, according to those seasons.

Have you ever craved an ice cold smoothie when it’s snowing outside? Or a hot bowl of cozy soup when it’s 100 degrees out in the summer? Probably not; your biology won't let you.

We are animals- plan and simple.  Our human bodies have not evolved in 10,000 years…  so it’s up to us to keep returning back to the primal and simple actions that our ancestors relied on:

rest, good calories, active movement, community, and ritual

So, will a doctor ever know more about my body than me?

No. Because even if right now, I stopped learning anything new, I have a wealth of information about how to care for myself. 

If these last 10 years have taught me anything, it’s that we need to nurture our instincts because often, we know best.

If you want to explore your own natural cycles and how to live in rhythm with them for better sleep and less anxiety, click here to see my ebook Natural Cycles. 

How I learned to put the pieces back together

It was only a few years ago that I was driving home from work, sitting in traffic. I was probably pumping my head full of info from NPR but I remember not really wanting to *be* at home. I walked in the door and my roommate/partner/rocky relationship person had his back turned to me, didn't say hello, and I felt invisible. I went straight to the shower and broke down in tears as soon as the water turned on.  

I was fucking miserable. Like... didn't want to live in my body any more - miserable. I was stifling my moans as tears mixed with shower water and felt like I couldn't breathe. In that moment I realized that I COULD NOT continue to just go through life, letting things happen to me. I wanted to be able to feel my emotions and not be guilty about it. I wanted to connect to who I was and be empowered in my femininity. I was so tired of living in a masculine society (usa) and feeling like a robot, operating and producing. I mean, I practiced yoga, I ate healthy, I had a semi-meaningful job, and *what I thought* was a connection to a higher power. But I did ALL of that on a totally intellectual level. My brain woke me up in the morning, it made decisions for me, it dictated my entire life. My heart wasn't in it- my intuition was starving, and my femininity was non-existent.


So through a process of introspection, self-care, and ritual, I decided to learn how to live in the flow, to listen to my heart, and to be my own woman. 

My life radically shifted- I left my partner and got my own apartment and learned how to be alone and love it. I quit my job to figure out what I wanted to do. I began to heal my relationship with my mother by individuating myself from her. I became ME- my clothes changed, my friendships changed, and I even began to learn how to eat according to how I FELT in my body.

Now, when I look back and how much of my life was spent feeling miserable and wanting to run away from it, I'm not sad. I realized that I needed those 20+ years of darkness, to be able to see the light. When I learned about my body, my cycles, and how to live in the feminine while existing in a masculine society- I BECAME a woman. Like a flower opening, my world opened up. It no longer felt small or claustrophobic. I literally felt like I could do anything and my biggest hopes and dreams started to look totally possible. When we are connected to ourselves, we learn how to make decisions from our heart. Life becomes a thing of love, not fear. When we know ourselves, on every level, we feel comfortable setting boundaries, saying NO, and feeling into the hell yes moments, too!

My own experience of navigating through popular self-care processes like yoga, meditation, ayurveda, and basic self-care taught me that self-care looks SO different for everyone. I didn't fully learn how to take care of my self until I connected to myself. Just like a child who needs something, instead of just putting down different items of support, we connect to the child, we speak to them, ask them questions, and we let them tell us what they need. In a world filled to the brim with teachers and healing modalities, and wellness retreats and self-help books, the overwhelm and anxiety can come simply from not knowing what we need.  


This is what I've learned- when we have permission to be ourselves, our higher self tells us what we need.

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I'm so honored that you all are stepping up and saying HELL YES to what you need. This is what I do- and for three more days, you'll have the opportunity to work with me in a self-paced, online experience for women called Balanced Babes. Because this is what I do - I help you connect to yourself so you can cut out the bullshit, honor what you need, and release what no longer serves you. I remember crying in the shower that day and realizing that never again would I feel so disconnected and this is why I do this work. And I would love to do this with you!

Simply click here to learn more.

5 simple ways to become your own healer

I always forget that no one can help me but myself.

I put all my eggs in one basket: “as soon as ___blank__ happens, I'll be fine.”  I do this with everything; small things and the big stuff.

“As soon as I quit my job I’ll feel better.”

“As soon as I stick to my yoga routine, I'll get back into shape.”

“As soon as I learn how to set boundaries, I'll have my freedom back.”

As soon as…..

But that never happens because as soon as I DO something, another thing pops up!

It’s not about jumping from one goal to the next.

It’s not about being “good enough” or “better than I was before”…

No- this IS life.

Life doesn’t magically stop happening when we reach a milestone. It continues- like water cutting through rocks; it’s a powerful force that can drown us or send us flowing; weightless and carried by it’s strength.

So what will you choose? To drown, or to be carried by the current?

I’m not sure about you but my mind is constantly a sea of thoughts. A barrage of “I should be doing this.”

“Why did I say that?”

“I have to be better at..”

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And sometimes (most of the time) I just want a break.  But the break, the reprieve, cannot come from anyone but me.  It’s ironic and kind of disheartening to know that it doesn’t matter how many times I see my therapist, or meditate, or eat healthy- I am the only one who knows what’s best for me, at every given moment.

We are not responsible for anyone but ourselves.  And that is both good and bad news.

It’s good to know that WE control how we feel because it allows us to really play the game of manifesting, of self-compassion, of designing our lives.

But it’s bad too because it’s HARD! Many of us don’t have a support system or a structure in our lives where we feel okay to accept ourselves.

So how can we learn to help ourselves? For me, it comes in steps- a sequence- like a dance.


5 ways to become your own healer
 

1: Accept How you Feel

This step is HUGE.  Anxiety is created from disconnection to self.  When we don’t feel good, it’s often because we are resisting; whether it be pain or illness or emotional anguish or worry. We are resisting WHAT IS.  So the first step in helping ourselves is simple, accept how we feel.  I do this by stating it out loud or writing it down. Using very basic words and terms, “I feel sad.” “My feelings are hurt.”
 

2. FEEL how you feel

Once you accept how you feel, it’s time to actually FEEL it.  Like a child, sometimes we need to FEEL for just a few minutes, to get it out of our system.  If you put words to how you’re feeling, let yourself express them. If you’re sad, cry it out. If you’re overwhelmed, breathe loudly. If you’re happy, laugh. This is all about letting ourselves know that FEELING is okay- it’s not negative and it’s natural.  So, feel how you feel.
 

3. Practice compassion

When we feel our emotions, especially if we’re not used to that practice, a little guilt comes in.  “I have no reason to be upset” or “other people have it way worse than I do.”  So practice compassion for yourself. For your feelings, no matter how messy or silly they are.  Take a moment with a hand on your heart and a hand on your belly to just love yourself, no matter how you feel.
 

4. Process

Processing what comes up is where the work comes in.  When we don’t recognize what we’re feeling, it gets buried and blocked. Blocked energy is manifested as illness and even pain in the body.  So, help yourself by processing.  This looks different for everyone. For me, it helps to write in a journal.  Just noting what came up for me, and what I’m dealing with.  Processing could look like sweating it out in a yoga class or taking a walk or even calling a friend. It’s up to you but definitely let it out!
 

5. Take Action

This is the fun part! It’s time to take action to help yourself! You first accepted how you felt; maybe you felt guilty about something.  You let yourself feel the guilt and then you practiced self-compassion.  From there, you processed it; maybe called a friend and chatted about the guilt you had.  Now it’s time to take action- This is where we break the cycle.  Taking action could mean changing a situation (if you felt guilt about canceling plans, make new plans that YOU feel comfortable with).  Taking action could mean writing a note to your future self. Taking action could mean sharing that feeling with a loved one for the first time.  Whatever you do, let that feeling keep moving through you!

So, as we enter into a New Year, it’s up to us to stay connected with ourselves because we are our own teachers. We are our own healers and our own friends.

When we can love ourselves and care for ourselves, as much as we do for others, we are truly thriving- not just surviving.