Without going into too many details right now, I have spent the last week understanding and fully feeling what it means to be alive. I have taken part in a ceremony that opened the floodgates of my heart and showed me a truth that I feel I've been searching for, my entire life.
My sister, Marlena, writes songs that speak so much to the essence of what life is:
"Each moment you wake up, the choice is yours to hold. Will you lay down in fear, or stand up and be bold? We have a choice to rise up and be a vessel for love. Sometimes there's boulders in our path; forcing us to slow down. Here we must face our pain, there's no easy way around. We have a choice to rise up and be a vessel for love. Can you see yourself as capable and divine? Treat yourself with reverence; and honor your life. We have a choice to rise up and be a vessel for love."
It's true. When we go through our days, we can either fall down and let life run over us; being a victim to circumstance. Or we can stand tall and be the warriors; sending others our love as we trudge through our pain.
Just as there are bad days and good days, each MINUTE of our lives is a constant current of energy. That's what we are; energetic beings taking part in this world in physical bodies. Why do we do what we do? Is it all just a distraction from pain that needs to be pulled up and healed? Sometimes we distract ourselves by numbing our pain; sometimes we distract ourselves with drama as we become obsessed with the stories of our lives.
But sometimes, we get glimpses of our pain; we experience death or heartbreak or anger until we can't handle the intensity.
And we fall apart.
And in that falling apart, we are broken open. We let our tears or an injury or our rage take that pain and pull it out of us.
And we begin to come back together again.
Without the breaking open; the falling apart; the darkness, we cannot feel the love- the joy. They are one in the same. There is no person that experiences the deepest love, that hasn't felt the deepest pain. So, as Marlena sings:
"Life is just a ceremony. Full of ups and downs. We can learn to ride the waves and we will never drown."
What waves are you riding? Do you feel like the current of life is always trying to pull you under? Do you feel confident in your energetic body? Do you love your physical body? Are you spending your entire life, waiting for someone or something to save you?
We have the strength to heal ourselves. It's only a matter of time until we decide to do the work. Are you ready to be a warrior and embrace your pain to get to the love?
photography by Richard Casteel