Self-Parenting: for the baby in all of us!

Self-Parenting; this topic has been coming up for me extensively in the last few years but seems to be on my horizon when I need it the most.  And apparently, right now, I need to really get back to treating myself like a baby.  In a good way…

We are all children; innocent and malleable, but strong and stubborn.  Can you close your eyes and see how you feel, deep down? Does the infant inside of you feel safe and secure and nurtured? Or is she tired or frightened or lonely?

Photo by Victoria Lucia

Photo by Victoria Lucia

Reality check: no one can be there for us, like we can be there for ourselves.  I’ve learned this the hard way throughout my life as I’ve TRIED to rely on boyfriends and my family to supply needs that are nestled so deep within me, they can’t possibly be met by anyone other than me.  When I first learned about the concept of self-parenting, it was in the form of mothering.  It was 2014 and I was in the midst of a 9 month period of choosing not to be in contact with my mother.  It wasn’t a decision with forethought but rather the culmination of a life-time of little to no boundaries and a lack of awareness around why my mother triggered negative emotions in me.  As I discovered during this period of separation with her, even our own mothers didn’t parent us in every single way that we needed- from infancy to adulthood.  They just did the best that they could at that time. Once we “grow up”, it’s time for us to do the best WE CAN, for ourselves.  

There comes a point in life when it is time for us to take the reigns and lead ourselves to freedom and pure self-love.  I chose to take the reigns that summer, in 2014.  I learned how to treat myself like I was a baby- making sure that my basic needs were met, and then nurturing myself. For me, I did it by asking myself (constantly) what I needed.  I literally nurtured myself with everything that I was aware that I needed. I cut off friendships, jobs, and hobbies that I felt weren’t in my best interest as I went through a very reclusive and sensitive time.  

There is no one right way to self-parent but for me, I needed a lot of alone time and self-care rituals.  It was that year, 2014, that I began setting intentions on the New Moon and releasing negativity on the Full Moon.  I started leading New Moon gatherings for women and thus- a year later- Lunar Nourishment was born.  I truly believe that if it weren’t for my extreme form of self-parenting, I wouldn’t have had the guts or gumption to release parts of my life that were no longer serving me in order to make room for new endeavors. 

My self-parenting looked like this:

  • Constant check-in's with how I felt emotionally and physically
  • Feeding myself the best and most nutritious foods
  • Slowing down + pretty much stopping my yoga practice and most physical exertions
  • Spending a lot of time in nature and in the sun
  • Quitting my job and working for myself
  • Living alone
  • Not drinking alcohol or being very social
  • Only doing things that felt like a HELL YES 
  • Saying no to things that didn't feel good

But lately, there’s been a shift.  Self-parenting looked like those things that I listed above but now, I can feel my Soul asking me to “level up”.  I had a conversation with my sister, Marlena, about this the other day and she shared that sometimes what used to serve us, is no longer ENOUGH.  For the last few years I have needed rest and alone time and a very light workload mixed in with some time in nature and the sun.  Now, I feel a call to rest in a different way. To sit in silence when I want. To practice yoga and move my body more. To work smarter, not harder.  But most of all, to keep parenting myself.  

On this Scorpio Full Moon, I invite you to explore your inner child and your inner Mother. How you can you be both and treat yourself the best way possible.  On this Full Moon, embrace letting go of old ways of being that aren't truly nurturing for your Soul. 

Do you parent yourself? How do you give your body and your soul what it needs? What does your practice look like? Do you feel guilty about treating yourself like an infant?  Comment below and see who can learn from your story.