I shared this on Instagram last week and so many reached out and encouraged me to share it with ya'll. So..this is my story.
It’s written on my face some days when I speak. It’s constantly in the back of my mind. When I was 19, I was diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder. I was unhealthy; I was tired and had no energy. Each morning, I woke up with my heart beating so hard I could hear it in my ears and felt like I could barely breathe.
My days were spent trying to tell myself not to freak out about the smallest things. I had no spiritual life, even though I had grown up involved in the “church”. I had no direction and no attachment to myself. I didn’t know who my SELF was. I wasn’t awake; just going through the motions. Every day, I wanted to feel good. Every day was a struggle. The smallest thing would feel like the end of the world. I was in a total fog.
But it changed when I stopped. And asked for help. I received help in many forms; through therapists, medicine, a break from school, home-cooked Lebanese meals from my father. This helped, I’m sure. But my life truly changed when I made the decision to change from WITHIN. I changed the foods that I was putting in my body. I changed the way that I was breathing every breath. I changed my social activities and the way I moved my body. I became one with myself.
I started to learn about my own body; it’s cycles of ups & downs. Through classes and trainings and research and books, I learned what it means to truly be a woman. I learned how to EMBRACE my cycles; how to go with my flow in a holistic and healthy way. I truly believe that through nutrition, ritual, and patterns, we CAN re-member where we came from. We can re-write our future. We can re-wild ourselves.