Are you dating a "potential" partner...?
Take a moment as you read this sentence to breath in through your nose….
and sigh it out from your mouth…
and then think of your life, ripe with potential…
Where do you feel the potential in your life right now?
Is it a relationship? With work? With your art?
What is on your horizon that gets you excited about existing?
When you’re in a relationship, are you typically very present, or are you usually thinking about the past or the future?
Look back at your past relationships for a moment and answer these Q’s:
Are you attracted to people because of who they are in that moment?
When you start dating someone, is it because he/she COULD be good partner or because they are showing you they already are?
Do you date people that you want to help or “fix”? Do often feel like their mother or teacher or therapist?
If you answered yes to one or more of those questions, then keep on readin’.
I ask because I know that so many of us, especially us empaths, are very good at seeing the POTENTIAL in situations and people.
We see the potential of a future partner and we just *know* they can be their best version… one day.
We see the potential of our job and we *know* that once we do ___, we’ll be happy to go to work every day.
We see the potential in our friendships and we *know* that if we could just change a few things, it’d be perfect.
But how long should we live on hope and possibility?
In my work with women over the last 4 years, I’ve found some common threads in those of who tend to date people we hope to “fix”. Here they are, in no particular order:
We make assumptions often. (“They can’t possibly love their job or pay-rate.” “Of course they want to have a healthier diet.” “They must be hurting because of their past situation.”)
We obsess over the future and it blinds us to the present moment. (“I bet they would be a great partner if they got over their ex.” “If we move in together, it’ll make it better.” “When they open up more emotionally, we’ll get closer.”)
We think suffering is normal. (“My parents taught me to commit and stick it out.” “I’ll look like a failure if I go through yet another breakup.” “Time is running out so I’ve got to make this work.”)
But not staying present and holding out for “things to change” just tells Universe that we don’t think we’re worthy of an amazing relationship.
So, how can we be more present?
For me, the answer comes in stillness and silence. I used to be SO fucking afraid to do nothing; to just sit alone. I was afraid of what would come up. But the more that we learn there’s nothing to be afraid of, we discover a world of peace and calm and self-acceptance.
Do you want to see what it feels like, even just for a few minutes, to 100% accept the present moment?
I’ve been guiding folks in meditation since 2013 (I can’t believe it’s been 6 years 🙆♀️) and I’m here to show you that it’s okay. That you are precious and there’s a stillness inside of you where peace and clarity live. Click below to access it anytime.